Church Confidential

It’s not unusual for someone to come to me and say, “Pastor, can I share something with you in confidence?”

My response usually surprises them: “Depends on what you tell me.”

Often, church leaders are unsure of how to handle sensitive information that is received within the church body. It’s important to make a distinction between that which should remain completely private and that which requires action and some further disclosure.

The Bible actually has a lot to say about what we would understand as someone coming to another person in confidence and disclosing a personal or moral issue. As Christians we are instructed that we are to confess to one another (Matthew 6:14; James 5:16). Questions immediately surface however, when it comes to confidentiality that may be expected. While we are often asked to “keep this confidential” there are many times we cannot promise that when we hear certain information, it won’t require a follow-up or other appropriate type of action.

For example:

1) Information disclosed about abuse, molestation, theft and vandalism typically obligates the receiver to further disclose the information to appropriate leaders who often have an obligation to disclose the same information to others including often the civil authority.

2) Moral failures, addictions and even mental disorders often require that the person receiving the information take some action. While the person may be requesting confidentiality, the sharing of the information indicates that help is needed and a resolution is desired.

The Bible also speaks about gossip and it is often gossip that is brought to us in confidence. Gossips and busybodies are to be avoided (1 Timothy 5:13). Gossip breaks up friendships (Proverbs 16:28). The word often translated as gossip is the Greek word for a whisperer, a secret slanderer, or a detractor.

However, while gossip is to be ignored, factual information that threatens the integrity of the Body of Christ is a different matter and should not be ignored. These matters involving the spiritual health of the church, the protection of the sheep from wolves and the restoration of the individual take precedence over a request for confidentiality and secrecy.

The leadership of the church has a responsibility to restore a person that is caughtin a sin (Gal 6:1). However, just like a request for confidentiality, restoration is secondary to protecting the rest of the church. Protection is often accomplished through appropriate church discipline.

Pastors, and by extension other church leaders, have the responsibility for discipline within the church. Anything that compromises the integrity of the church or ultimately harms other church members or causes dissension needs to be dealt with by the church leaders from the biblical aspect of church discipline.

In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus gives us a four-step approach to dealing with these confidential and sensitive matters in the church. The first step is to confront the individual alone. Steps two through four escalate the discipline, particularly for the non-repentant.

“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him-work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love. (Matt 18:15-18)

As believers and members of the Body of Christ, we are all under authority. Local church authority is a great place to start when dealing with an issue as described above. The first response should always be to encourage the offender to submit to the appropriate authority. If the person is hesitant, the church leader should let the person know that any consideration of confidentiality was presumptuous and cannot be honored because of the nature of the issue

Reprint from Church Executive, April 2011

And on the Seventh Day.......

My wife and I recently returned from a brief 5-day trip to Mackinac Island, situated on the Straits of Mackinac and between the upper and lower peninsula of Michigan.

While it's difficult to admit, it was one of the first vacations I have taken in a while. It seems like there is always something going on, something urgent at the office to attend to and it's all too easy to ignore the need to rest and relax.

I don't know whether you call it a "moment" or an "Epiphany" or something else but God definitely seemed to be taking me to task about this idea of rest and relaxation.

Just a week before, one of my board members also chided me for my lack of attention to this concept of an extended rest that we so often ignore in this busy fast-paced world.

It just so happens that the trip also was an opportunity to catch up with some good friends that we hadn't seen in a number of years. We used to spend lots of time with them. Good neighbors, friends from church, adopted families and parents of children our children's age. When we were together again, even if briefly, it seemed like the time spent apart was not as great as the bonds that were drawing us together.

My wife (the smart one in our relationship) reminded me that it was the time that was invested in each other that likely was the reason we became such good friends. Time that is still available to invest in people both family and friends if we want to continue to have special friends.

Mackinac Island may not be the place for everyone: Just a small island with a tiny town, there are no cars, only bikes and horses. Cell phone service is lousy and 90% of the land is state-owned and consists of mainly trees and trails and beautiful views of Lake Huron and Lake Michigan. And other than the Grand Hotel of "Somewhere in Time" movie fame, most of the hotels are only fair.

At the same time, it was a great place to rest, relax and reacquaint ourselves with that inner need to take some time off. I need to do it more often. Maybe even every week, maybe every seventh day.

I think I read that somewhere.

Three lessons on what matters

There are a few lessons that I've learned along the way about things that matter. Since my training is in finance and economics, it's no surprise that my lessons are quantitative rather than qualitative.

I thought I'd pass them along however:

1) Things that matter are measured.

If it's important, we find a way to measure it. While some things are relatively easy to measure (i.e. number of people, revenue, how long something takes), other things are more difficult. If something is difficult to measure that doesn't mean we don't measure it. For example, an employee's performance is a difficult measurement, but most HR professionals encourage an annual evaluation that is based on some standard assessment.

2) What you measure tells people what matters.

The lesson here is that people are watching. If you are a race car driver and never bother to measure how long it takes you to do the quarter mile people will think you are not very serious about racing. In an organization, if getting things done matter, measure what gets done and how long it takes. People will take notice.

3) There are a very limited number of measurements that can truly matter.

This is what I call the 'scoreboard' approach. In a football game, there are all kinds of things that are measured including time of possession, number of yards penalized, passer ratings, offensive yards, etc. The only thing that really matters however is the score. One team walks away a winner, the other goes home the loser. The thing that truly matters is the score.

Love May Win But Bell Strikes Out

Rob Bell’s Book, Love Wins is not a theological treatise on heaven and hell but an emotional appeal to those post-modern and post-Christian types that see the traditional church as the problem rather than the solution.

This is unfortunate as Bell asks a lot of questions and casts much doubt on traditional orthodoxy but never provides a true replacement. There are already all too many that are distrustful of Christianity and skeptical of scripture. After reading the book, none of these people would have been helped by Bell.

Is reading the book just time wasted? If it were only a waste a time I wouldn’t bother to write this review.

Reading his book is something that I knew I would do and it took me a little less than two hours to get through the 198 pages of Rob Bell speak.

Bell starts off harsh and attacks your sensibility by provocatively asking questions such as if we believe that children that die before the ‘age of accountability’ go to heaven, then wouldn’t prematurely terminating a child’s life anytime before they reach this age be a “loving thing to do” guaranteeing that the child would end up in heaven? He also mentions Romans 10 where Paul says, “how can they hear without someone preaching to them” and then Bell goes on to describe this false straw-man argument of a hypothetical missionary that gets a flat-tire and can’t do his part in delivering the truth of the gospel. What then? He obviously expects us to gasp in the horror of the injustice.

Many of Bell's questions will make us cringe. We cringe in some ways because we recognize the paradox and know how confusing the reality of the entirety of scripture can sometimes be for all of us. Bell however never embraces the paradox of the gospel, the paradox that two seemingly contradictory statements can both still be true. He instead throws these hundreds of questions out that can only dissuade and discourage a more serious consideration of the truth of the Gospel.

The answer for Rob Bell regarding Heaven is not that dissimilar to what we may assume. Heaven, for Bell, is much more wonderful than we talk about and begins now and not at some time in the future. I would agree with his ‘better-than’ view of heaven however I would say that it is eternal life that begins now and the new heaven and the new earth are pretty well described in Revelation 21 and 22.

Bell’s description of Hell is more of what it isn’t than what it is. He rejects any conventional and orthodox view of hell particularly with regard to it being an eternal state. He bristles at the concept of ‘never-ending punishment’ and says that given enough time “everybody will turn to God and find themselves in the joy and peace of God’s presence”. He however offers no answers to where, how long or to what end this intermediate Hell exists.

Often Bell is intellectually dishonest. He offered up the esteemed Gandhi in the first chapter as an example of someone many would assume to be worthy of heaven. Bell's audience is expected to agree as there is always a 'someone' that lived a good enough life that would be an exception to the "only through Christ" reality of the gospel. However, Bell avoids any mention of Hitler who was responsible for tens of millions of deaths. What about Idi Amin or your local serial killer? Does anyone truly deserve hell? According to Bell, everyone eventually ends up in heaven.

Bell claims that ‘never-ending punishment’ does not give God glory. However, neither does a cheap, universal grace that is also described by Bell.

Bell’s arguments against the more traditional views of eternity and hell are spurious. Early in the book he claims that he is not alone in his less-than-traditional view and states that since the first century, there have been a number that insist that “hell is not forever”.

Yes, there have been people like Origin, Clement of Alexandria and others that argued for what we now know as ‘universalism’. What is interesting is that Rob Bell names these early theologians as part of the proof of his discourse. Historical evidence abounds however that the early church renounced these theologians and some of the creeds that we have today have a statement of belief in both heaven and hell as a result of this very controversy. These creeds have been pretty much considered orthodoxy within the church for about 1900 years.

Interestingly, while Bell doesn’t describe his version of hell, he embraces what many would recognize as the Catholic’s view of purgatory. He describes a second chance for people that die; God providing “endless opportunities in an endless amount of time” for people to say yes to God.

Kevin DeYoung, the pastor of a growing church in Grand Rapids, Michigan, home of Rob Bell closes his excellent and much more developed review of Love Wins with these comments that are worth noting:

“If Love Wins is wrong…. then what damage has been done to the souls of men and women? Bad theology hurts real people. Is Love Wins true? Open a Bible, pray to God, listen to the faithful Christians of the past 2000 years, and answer the question for yourself.”

Your Website is Irrelevant

You may be the last group in America that finally has a website or you may have been an early adopter and were one of the first in America to have a URL with your organization's name.

Regardless of how long you’ve been at it, you are likely to now have a website that is completely irrelevant. Irrelevant from a marketing perspective (few, if any, are attracted to your organization because of your website), irrelevant from a source of relevant information, and irrelevant to your members in seeking timely information on activities, class offerings and messages.

Increasingly, shoppers and visitors have learned to find out honest, authentic information from peers and friends online rather than visiting an organization's website. At the same time, social media is highly effective in reaching a local community and the best organizations have found the way to integrate social media with their existing websites and information channels.

As a source of information, unfortunately most websites are still pretty static. The information about the doctrines, beliefs, organizational and governance structure are not only completely boring for visitors but also typically so non-compelling and un-welcoming that most organizations would be better served not posting the information at all.

More up-to-date information is easily archived on places like YouTube, Vimeo and Google Video and referenced from the website. Video archives of teachings and audio podcasts are best located on places like iTunes where people can subscribe for free and easily search for the topics that they are looking for at the time.

Customers, partners and attendees that are web-savvy that are the most likely to use the organization's website, can also be savvy enough to embrace Twitter and Facebook. While many have correctly identified the hazards of these social networking phenomena, there is still a lot of baby there that shouldn’t be thrown out with the bathwater. Having attendees naturally connect online and share information and ask for prayer and support is a recent innovation that unfortunately most of us have not been able to figure out how to fully embrace. One of the simple ways to embrace tools like Facebook and Twitter is to have 'share button' icons on your website that allows visitors to immediately share and comment via their social media sites.

You website doesn’t need to be irrelevant and it can still be a very useful tool. Organizations just need to continue to go where the people are. We understand that intuitively when it comes to buying property...it’s all about location-location-location. Follow the same thought process when it comes to your online presence and source of information for both visitors and guests as well as regular attendees.

Know the Why

I’ve recently returned from a church conference and I was so happy that there wasn’t a lot of ‘what’ being demonstrated.

You’ve likely been to a ‘what’ conference. These conferences tell you this is ‘what’ worship is like, this is ‘what’ student ministries offers, this is ‘what’ your church website should look like.

‘What’ isn’t all bad since knowing the ‘what’ is important as it allows us to offer something that ministers to people. The world is full of people needing a ‘what’.

However, I loved hearing about the ‘how’. Successful churches and ministries that do ministry well understand that the ‘how’ is just as important as the ‘what’. ‘How’ helps the people and churches that are doing ministry replicate themselves. They can teach, demonstrate and use themselves as an example. The ‘how’ also allows for systems and processes to be developed to measure and make the ministry both efficient as well as effective. Knowing ‘how’ helps a church replicate ‘what’ they do to a larger and growing audience.

Ultimately, great leaders and great churches not only get the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ but they also understand the ‘why’. The ‘why’ is even more important. Answering the question ‘why’ gives context, permanence and visualization to that which is being accomplished.

If we know ‘why’ we also know the ultimate direction or vision of the ministry or activity. If we know ‘why’ we are using particular methods or using specific language, we have the opportunity to have a greater impact as when we teach, we are constantly casting vision rather than just giving instruction.

If knowing ‘what’ allows us to minister one-to-one; and knowing ‘how’ helps us replicate ourselves and our ministry through systems and processes, then knowing ‘why’ has the opportunity to build a movement.

Prepare for the Impossible

To prepare for the impossible may seem like an unlikely assignment. However, I believe that as church leaders it is exactly the assignment that Christ has given to us.

All too often, many of our churches resemble the church of Laodicea in the Book of Revelation. We may think, “I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing (Rev. 3:14).” While we may not ever say something like that out loud (knowing the context), we often wait until conditions are just right before breaking new ground, reaching into the community with the love and hope of Jesus, or hiring staff that would equip and empower others to do the work of ministry.

The needs around us are overwhelming. There are hundreds of thousands that are hurting. Our communities are full of people that need to know Jesus and our families, even within our churches are falling apart.

We have been called by God to make a difference. We are the sent ones—a people appointed by God to fulfill the Great Commission. We are the ones that are responsible to “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit … (Matt 28:19-20).”

We have neither the luxury nor the time to wait until we are fully resourced, have plenty of money in the bank and have all contingencies identified and planned. People are in desperate need and we are to be the salt and light to this generation.

In preparing for the impossible and allowing God to confirm the timing and provide the necessary resources I believe we need to follow three simple steps.

We need to embrace our need. As pastors and teachers we need both human and financial capital. We need people to come alongside us and help us in ministry. We may need other churches and ministries that we can partner with to be more effective in mobilizing resources. Preparing for the impossible would involve identifying and praying for the capital needed and selecting and training up those that will be equipped and even employed in ministry to meet the needs.

We need to recognize our calling. We are the ones that are to take this message of hope, peace and salvation to the world.

We need to affirm our anointing. The Apostle John tells us that we have an anointing from God (1 John 2:20). We know the need, we know the truth, and we also know the source. Later, in the same letter, John says, “As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you.”

Preparing for the impossible is necessary if we are going to move out of our comfort zone within our churches and get back into the communities. Out of our need, God provides. I have found he is never late but will also never get ahead of us.

Ken Behr

Reprint from ChurchExecutive March 2011