You have likely heard or seen the "divorce statistic" for Christians. It appears that Christians divorce at about the same rate (or possibly higher) than non-Christians. According to Barna research, 11% of the adult population is currently divorced; 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime, and divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher (i.e. Baptists 29%, non-denominational 34%) than for other faith groups, and those that identify "no faith" experience.There have been many that have attempted to explain away this seemingly inconstant factoid for people of faith. They attempt to create a higher sub-culture within Christianity that includes true "Christians" by defining only those born-again Christian couples who marry other born-again Christians, have a church wedding after receiving premarital counseling, and faithfully attend church weekly and pray daily together.
While I have no doubt that Church attendance and Bible Study and pre-marriage conferences all improve the success rate for marriages, I have another suggestion: forgiveness.
When Jesus was asked to clarify His teaching on divorce (Mark 10:2-12), Jesus recounted that it was God's intention that marriage would last forever. He said that Moses provided concessions that included divorce to suit the hardness of man's heart.
Some Christians, including pastors, cling to an "exception" in Matthew 19:9, where Jesus speaks about "adultery". However, this is not an exception to the "forever" of marriage but the ability of the faithful and remaining spouse to be free to remarry. Paul supports this freedom in his teaching as well. Again, I believe that Paul's teaching is on remarriage, not a justification for divorce.
The teaching on forgiveness in the New Testament is very clear. Jesus said we are to forgive 70 times 7; God forgives us so we need to forgive each other. Christianity and the teachings of Jesus are unique in its offer of complete forgiveness. In the plan of salvation, forgiveness is central in the provision in which God completely forgives the sins of everyone who comes to faith and belief in Christ.
The teaching on forgiveness in the New Testament is very clear. Jesus said we are to forgive 70 times 7; God forgives us so we need to forgive each other. Christianity and the teachings of Jesus are unique in its offer of complete forgiveness. In the plan of salvation, forgiveness is central in the provision in which God completely forgives the sins of everyone who comes to faith and belief in Christ.
All too often Christians are quick to provide a quick remedy to an injured spouse when adultery is involved. And that remedy is divorce.
Forgiveness is always an option. "Let not man separate what God has joined together" (Mark 10:9)
